Abby McDonald

Finding the Hope of Christ in a Messy Life

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Winter Depression, I’m Not Letting You Win

November 29, 2018 by Abby McDonald

There’s something about dreary winter weather that makes me want to curl up and hibernate until spring. The grey skies. The frigid air. Before I know it, full on winter depression has set in, and according to the calendar it’s still fall.

Winter decided to make its appearance in November this year, at least in my neck of the woods. And as much as I would like to tell you I welcomed it with welcome arms, I didn’t. Our pre-Thanksgiving snowstorm actually made me a little resentful. What happened to fall? What happened to the color, crisp air and mild temps? They were gone in the span of five minutes.

With the early winter came an early change in my attitude, too. As I tried to wrap up the final three chapters of my manuscript, I hit a wall. Feelings of self-defeat and overwhelm came in waves, and as much as I tried to clear my head and focus on truth, I felt like a full-fledged war was taking place.

Winter and I don’t have the best track record. As someone who has to fight depression and anxiety with a resolve to take my thoughts captive, winter is the season when I find this hardest to do.

As tempting as it is to hibernate the entire season with a good book and a cup of coffee, I know that’s not possible. And probably not the most healthy response. It would be a long four months, and the kids would probably object to my sloth-like inertia.

So like any battle we face in life, I came up with a game plan. I’m not going to let the darkness defeat me. With God as my Defender and my Shield, I’m finding the joy of the season and choosing to hold onto it long after the last Christmas lights are put away.

Here are a few ways I’m fighting depression this winter:

  1. I’m being intentional with my time.

Even though I love a good evening at home and have never been one to jam my calendar with activity every day of the week, endless days spent at home doing absolutely nothing can suck the joy right out of me. So, I’m planning fun things to do with the kids. Trips to museums. Afternoons at indoor play places.

I’m also being intentional about spending time with God. Often, it gets interrupted because, well, I’m the mom of three kids. But I start again. I tell the older kids to go play. Letting them see this time is sacred not only impacts me, but it impacts them.

  1. I’m looking for beauty.

Winter has a unique beauty that you can’t find in any other season. The crisp colors in the sky at sunset in contrast to the ground covered with white. The bare trees reaching their arms like soldiers keeping watch at dusk.

But if I want to see the beauty, I have to look for it. On days when I feel the heaviness of life and the endless items on my to-do list, I have to be deliberate about finding it. This year, I’m going a step further. I’m writing it down so I can look back on it when I forget. Because I will. And when I do, it will be there.

  1. I’m taking care of myself.

As moms we often live our lives with a martyr type mentality, thinking that by taking care of everyone else but ourselves, we are doing our people a favor. But let me offer a news flash here. We’re not. When we deplete ourselves of the rest, soul nourishment, and physical care we need, the detriment we do to ourselves will eventually spill into the lives of those we love. They will feel it. And it won’t be pretty.

When Jesus took time to rest and spend time alone with the Father, it wasn’t because the needs ran out. It wasn’t because everyone was healed. It was because he came as a human, just like you and me, and he was presenting a model for us to follow. Although still divine, he felt every weight we do.

Taking care of ourselves will look different for each person, and it’s not an invitation to negate responsibility. Our families need us. Our kids need us. But they also need us to be healthy.

Sometimes when life looks bleak and lifeless outside, we can feel lifeless on the inside too.

There have been days when I’ve felt like the darkness was enclosing me in an envelope, and I couldn’t get a foothold.

I am a strong advocate for counseling and mental health, so let me take a moment to say this: if you feel like your life has no value, seek professional help immediately. The above points are meant to be tools to help you reclaim joy, but they are not one-size-fits all.

Whether winter is a season you love or struggle through, remember this. God makes everything beautiful in its time. Each changing season is a reflection of the One who never changes. Set your mind on his love and his truth, and remember even on the bad days, his promise to be with you endures.

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Filed Under: depression, hope Tagged With: #hope, #winter, depression

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Comments

  1. Christy says

    November 29, 2018 at 6:34 am

    Good article Abby. I can suffer from sunlight deprivation depression also. Luckily I live in Florida but in college in SC, it was bad.
    xoxo

    • Abby McDonald says

      November 29, 2018 at 1:25 pm

      I need to pay you a visit in Florida, friend! 😉 Yes, vitamin D helps but that sunlight deprivation can definitely be a killer. Thinking about you and praying for your family today.

  2. Betsy de Cruz says

    November 29, 2018 at 6:51 am

    I clicked on your email right away because seasonal affective order gets me too. However, I am thankful that in the last 5 years or so, it’s better. Sounds crazy, but candles help me. So changing hormones (?), candles, and as you say, God’s presence have helped! Great 3 steps you outline here.

    • Abby McDonald says

      November 29, 2018 at 1:26 pm

      I’m so glad to hear it’s gotten better, Betsy. Yes, I use candles too and have also found that certain scents help elevate my mood. Every little thing we can do helps.

  3. Kristi Woods says

    November 29, 2018 at 9:56 am

    Love you, friend, and how you’re pressing straight through. I’ve paid special attention to the Vit. D/K2 lately because of seasonal depression. It’s good you’re talking about this and offering valid steps to address it.

    • Abby McDonald says

      November 29, 2018 at 1:27 pm

      Love you too! Yes, those vitamins definitely help and I’ve also found certain oils, scents, etc help with my mood. Thanks so much for your encouragement, friend.

  4. Calvonia Radford says

    November 29, 2018 at 9:58 am

    I am not a winter appreciator. I understand God knows best and he gives us what we need, not what we want, I enter this season reluctantly every year. Warm blankets, hot tea and the word of God get me through. As I get older, my arthritis worsens with the cold so I am tempted daily to call in to work and stay in. It’s a struggle, but God! I love your point of writing down the beauty you see for future reading. I think I’ll join you in your journaling. Blessings.

    • Abby McDonald says

      November 29, 2018 at 1:28 pm

      Calvonia, my mother suffers from arthritis so I have seen the effects it can have on the body. It’s no joke! Saying a prayer for you today. Thank you for your encouragement.

  5. Dr. Michelle Bengtson says

    November 30, 2018 at 1:20 am

    Oh how I appreciate this and you! I wish you didn’t struggle because I’ve been there and wouldn’t wish it on anyone! I’m grateful for better weather in Texas than growing up in Michigan, but as you have well learned, experience is a good teacher. Because of Him, #HopePrevails

  6. Tammy Dyer says

    December 1, 2018 at 9:13 am

    Thank you Abby for validation and advice…this is my yearly struggle…and w/ retirement it’s worse! But these words seem my own and I’m even more pumped to keep “up” this winter…especially w/ Michigan winters early arrival!! Blessings sweet lady!

  7. Lisa Appelo says

    December 1, 2018 at 10:04 am

    Point #3 is so important! Especially when you have littles like you do, but even with older kids it’s important to get rest. I’m learning not to feel guilty for resting. I’m not doing nothing — I’m resting! 🙂

Hi! I'm Abby and I'm so glad you're here. I am a wife and a mom of two very energetic boys and one sweet baby girl. When I'm not chasing them around I love to write about my love for a God who relentlessly pursued me, even during my darkest times. READ MORE...

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Mom brain (and brain fog) is real, folks! Always h Mom brain (and brain fog) is real, folks! Always have a journal or app with you to capture those ideas on the go. Then, when you finally get a chance to sit down, you’ll have your idea in front of you.

#writinglife #writingtips #writingcoach #hopewriters
I can’t tell you the number of times someone has I can’t tell you the number of times someone has remarked about my kids’ behavior, my writing, or something else, and I would never have known they noticed me. They said something at just the right time, often on a day I needed a boost of encouragement, and it kept me going. I know you don’t have an audience (except your kids, perhaps) when you’re doing the dishes. You probably don’t have one when you’re putting your kids to bed either. But you know what?
 
Our unseen work will always affect the work we do for an audience.

The heart and the love we pour into those unseen hours? It will carry into the lives we live in front of others. It will cause a ripple effect, spreading over to other areas. We may not even notice it at the time, but it will.

If you’re having trouble believing those unseen hours matter today, will you do me a favor? Come to God and just be honest. I promise he can handle it. He won’t turn away or give you a cold shoulder. He may even show you a little glimpse of what you’ve been missing.

#hopewriters #hisloveenduresforever #encouragingword #seekhimfirst
His goodness will follow you into the unknown, int His goodness will follow you into the unknown, into the dark valleys and shadows. It will never leave. Even when it feels as though the world is closing in on you and you have nothing left to give, his goodness will follow you.

Speak this truth over your life today. Even if you have difficulty believing it today, he will use your proclamation of truth. You will defeat the enemy with arrows from his Word. His attacks against you will not stand.

#hopewriters #psalm23 #hisgoodness #seekhimfirst
Hello on this rainy Friday! Everything in me said Hello on this rainy Friday! Everything in me said to stay home today, but I braved the storm and found unexpected gifts because of it like:

1. Shorter lines
2. Less chaos and traffic in the store (which makes me anxious)
3. No one breathing down my neck in the checkout line. 😂 Sidenote- so not necessary!

What unexpected gift did you recently discover after doing something you didn’t want to do? Nothing is too small.

Happy weekend, friends!

#unexpectedgifts #hopewriters #cultivategratitude
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This is what I keep telling myself lately. Perhaps you need this reminder too. Because if you’re anything like me, you can freeze yourself with contingencies and made-up scenarios before you even start something. 

It’s exhausting. And I’ve wasted too much time doing this. So I’m choosing to take steps toward big goals even when my inner voice tells me, “You have no clue what you’re doing.”

Yesterday, that looked like sending an email.  It seems like such a small thing but it felt good. More than good, actually. It was as though all those made-up scenarios melted away, my shoulders relaxed and God whispered, “I’ve got this.”

Take the step, my friend. No matter what happens, the joy of saying “yes” will far exceed the regret of never trying.

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Anyone else? 🙋🏻‍♀️😆 When do I need Anyone else? 🙋🏻‍♀️😆 When do I need to send help for you?

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But if we look at scripture, Jesus doesn’t describe his peace as a trophy we have to earn. It is a gift He gives us as his children, and His perfect peace is part of who He is.

Sharing more about this @embracing.the.unexpected 

https://www.embracingtheunexpected.com/how-is-god-good-unexpected-circumstances/

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No matter how long we’ve been walking with Jesus No matter how long we’ve been walking with Jesus, most of us will hit a season where it feels as though he’s silent. As we see others move forward in their faith and sense his presence in their lives, it can feel lonely.

When we walk through these valleys, we need to remember that Jesus said himself that no one can snatch us out of the Father’s hand. 

Regardless of what you might be feeling right now, you still belong to the One who paid the highest price to call you his own. If you’re having difficulty hearing his voice in your life or wondering why he speaks to others and not to you, here are a few things to keep in mind.

1. Our spiritual life is a series of valleys, mountains, and middle ground in-between. When you witness someone else taking big steps in their spiritual journey or hearing from God consistently, it could be that they are in a different life chapter than you are. Often, a long valley comes just before the breakthrough. It’s never a good idea to compare where we are in our faith to someone else, because each of us is unique.

2. Abiding in Christ is an active, day by day process, not a passive, one and done decision. One of Jesus’ last teachings to the disciples is about abiding in the Vine. Jesus is the Vine, and he tells us in John 15 that apart from him we can do nothing:

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” John 15:4 NIV

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Friend, if you are in a dry season right now, tell God what’s on your heart. You will not scare him away with an honest admission of your frustration. As a matter if fact, your honesty may be exactly what’s needed to propel you forward and see breakthrough.

#hopewriters #encouragingwords #seekhimfirst #hisgrace #dailydevotion
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