"No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:12 There's something disconcerting about sitting half-naked in a sterile room while someone prepares to stick a huge needle in your back. I was about to have my third c-section, and the fear hit me all at once. My husband, who was my rock and my calm, was not allowed in the OR until anesthesia was administered. I sat there waiting, trying to be patient and the nurse noticed my Continue Reading
How God Responds When His Own Want to Die
Sometimes it’s easier to be a spectator. When someone dies or there’s a tragedy making headlines in the media, that’s often what I am. I sit back and read other writers’ words. I nod and silently say, “Amen.” But over the last weeks following the suicide of two well-known celebrities, I knew I needed to contribute more than hushed acknowledgement. I watched others speak up about their own experiences with depression and bravely tell their stories, and God stirred my soul. I know what it’s like Continue Reading
When No is God’s Greatest Grace
I knew the answer, but I didn’t want to hear it. “No. Not this season. Not yet.” So I tried to twist God’s arm a little. Present him with a list of reasons why my plan was better. Manipulate. Did he see the stress and worry our family experienced? Did he care? When that approach didn’t work, I cried bitter tears. My body felt like it was imploding as I screamed the question, “Why?” I still don’t have the answer. We don’t like to be left with unanswered questions, do we? We like it when life Continue Reading
