I replay the conversation in my head, wishing I’d responded differently. Why did I get so defensive when others didn’t see things my way? Instead of trying to see the other person’s point of view and finding a common ground, I’d put up a wall between us. Sure, we remained polite to each other, but there was an unspoken tension that kept our conversations short. I know I need to bring the matter to God. I need wisdom and guidance, but every time I try to pray, I can't utter the words. How Continue Reading
When You Can’t Escape Your Past
“Are you a pagan?” I sat in a body-piercing studio with one of the owners gazing at a tattoo displayed on the nave of my back. It was a gnome, sitting on a mushroom and playing a fife. Everything about it screamed pot-smoker, hippy and apparently, pagan. And to think I got it because I thought it looked cool. To me it said, “Outsider,” a label I gave myself during my younger years. The man’s question caught me off guard. I was twenty-one at the time and wasn’t sure who I was, let alone Continue Reading
When No One Understands Your Struggle, You Are Enough
When something in the church world makes me angry, I have a tendency to go on a spiritual high horse. Or at least, that is what I’m calling it. But the problem is it isn’t always as spiritual as I’d like to think. A few weeks ago when I reposted a previous blog about depression, I had to get off the horse restrain myself. Comments and stories of being shamed, isolated and belittled came rolling into my inbox, and I was livid. If there was ever a time when the fruit of the Spirit called Continue Reading