Whenever I face uncertainty, it happens. I look for clues of what God is trying to tell me. As if God is tossing me breadcrumbs, leading me down the path to some obscure puzzle.
Maybe it’s because anxiety makes it hard for me to focus. Or perhaps it’s just human nature. In my longing for certainty, this search for clues gives the illusion of control.
But the more I walk with Jesus and learn to recognize his voice, the more I realize he’s not the type of God who throws us breadcrumbs. Instead, he gives us himself. And not just a piece or a crumb. He gives us his whole self. He meets us in the most personal ways and in the most unexpected circumstances.
Over the past nine years, God brought Psalm 27 into my life in very distinct, intentional ways.
This is a popular psalm of David so it would be easy to dismiss it as a coincidence, but each of these occurrences has been specific and timed in a way that could only be orchestrated by God. Women I didn’t know and others who had no clue what I was going through gave me verses from this psalm to meditate upon. Sometimes the verses were printed out on cards, and other times they were spoken over me.
The first time this psalm came into my life in a specific way, I was at my first writer’s conference. This particular year, there were over eight hundred attendees, all at different stages in their journeys. The staff prayed for days, asking God to direct them toward verses from the Bible to pick and assign to each person who came. Even without knowing these attendees, they knew God would lead.
When I arrived at my seat the first evening at the conference, I picked up the card containing my verse. It read:
“For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.”
God knew the doubt and apprehension I carried with me into this conference. He knew I didn’t feel qualified to be there or to pursue a dream that felt too big and too risky. In the following months when I faced rejection and a sense of pointlessness, I clung to these verses and made the vow to continue to “make music for the Lord.”
Years after this conference, I sat in a breast imaging waiting room. I had received a dreaded call back on an irregular screening, and my mind was reeling with possibilities. I tried to numb my mind with aimless scrolling on my phone, but my signal was terrible. When I looked across the room, I saw a Gideon Bible sitting on a side table.
There was a defective page cut in a way that caused it to protrude further than the rest of the pages. It created a sort of natural bookmark, and so I opened the Bible to this page. When I did, these words from Psalm 27 greeted me:
“The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?”Psalm 27:1 NIV
I knew in that moment that regardless of my diagnosis, God saw me. He knew every fear I faced, and he cared enough to send the exact words I needed while I waited.
The third time I remember God bringing this psalm into my life was a few months ago. I was coming out of a very difficult season of my life and questioning my next steps. Although I thought God was leading me in a specific direction, numerous hurdles caused me to doubt.
On a whim, I decided to take a prophetic art class. This was way outside my comfort zone, but the instructor was a part of our church family, and I trusted her. The class focused on painting combined with prayer as means of overcoming strongholds in our spiritual lives. The teacher spent the first few classes addressing a key area most of the students struggled with: control. Then, after much prayer, she gave each participant a passage of scripture to learn and meditate upon throughout the course. Mine? Psalm 27. Not only did this psalm give me the confidence I needed to move forward with God’s direction, but it further solidified his voice and his presence in my situation.
Friend, I don’t know where you’re seeking God’s voice today. You may be stuck in a holding cycle of hesitation, waiting to act on a word you believe was from him. Can I tell you something I hope will encourage you? God doesn’t speak to us in puzzles.
When God speaks to us, it is direct, not ambiguous.
He is not a God of confusion, but a God who speaks to us in a very specific, unambiguous way. His voice may not remove the uncertainty we face, but it will give us peace in the midst of it.
His Word is the certainty we can cling to as we face the unknown.
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I am still alive because God gave me another chance.
I have used that time to volunteer and help others, I am beyond blessed in seeking opportunities to help others.
Joined a veteran’s group that visits vets in hospice care at home or in a facility. Most rewarding thing i have done in my life.
I’m so glad you’re seeking those opportunities to help others. It truly does change our lives. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Abby!
Thank you for sharing your journey and the way God has used Psalm 27 to speak to and encourage you!
Last year before undertaking a large family commitment, our family had prayed and asked God for direction. Things seemed to be going smoothly, and then disaster struck. One thing after another led to broken relationships, end of dreams, depression and loss. The entire time I struggled, asking God to PLEASE reveal to me where He was in all of this.
Before this “adventure” started I was impressed upon repeatedly to write 2nd Corinthians 4:18 on a note card. I did not know this verse by heart, but obediently pulled out my Bible and copied it down. Over the course of the last year, this verse has repeatedly appeared in “random” (not) places.
However, that hasn’t helped with wondering where God is in all of this mess. I have struggled to pray, at times wondering why He allows devastation to occur, and am still left with the broken dreams of children and a financial burden that is so completely unfathomable.
Yet, spite of my doubts and questioning, He remains the same. I am the one who twists and turns with the tide, screaming “Lord, where are you in all of this; please don’t let me go!”
Last night it was there again. While watching the livestream for Season 4 of The Chosen, actor Jonathan Roumie read a letter from a heartbroken fan. She had also gone through a devastating year, and while her struggles were much more difficult than mine, we have both been left wondering, “where is God in all of this? When will He show up, and if He’s been here all along, why can’t I see, hear, or feel Him?” It was at the point when Jonathan read 2nd Corinthians 4:14-18 from her letter that I KNEW. He DOES see us, He DOES hear us, HE IS with us. Our dark night of the soul is often out of our own grief, a retreating of sorts, a necessary encapsulation of protection from the pain and loss that this world so often brings.
I was so thankful that she took the time to write that letter and that Dallas Jenkins had “chosen” to read it on the livestream. And I would encourage each and every person to share their stories like you do Abby, their happiness AND pain, confirmations AND doubts, be vulnerable because you never know if it’s your story that God would use to speak to someone else that needs to know He sees and hears them.
Blessings to you❤️
Thank you for sharing this testimony, Kelly. I often find those seasons when I have difficulty discerning His voice are the seasons when I grow and experience Him in a different way. They’re definitely not easy, but I’m thankful for the people God chooses to put in my path to encourage me and let me know I’m not alone. Blessings to you!