Abby McDonald

Finding the Hope of Christ in a Messy Life

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This is Why We Can Ask for Help

July 30, 2020 by Abby McDonald

I didn’t want to ask for help.

As I hung there, suspended over 100 feet in the air, I twisted my body upward. The wooden plank of the bridge was several feet above my legs, and seemed to mock me. I didn’t have the strength to reach it.

Sweat drenched my clothes as the sun beat down on my face, the heat index reaching above 100 degrees. I watched my middle child zip-line back to the main tower of the ropes course. Our two-hour time slot was over, thank God.

“Do you need help?” the instructor called. She’d just pulled my son, who got stuck on the obstacle ahead of me, to safety. I hesitated for a moment, and then responded, “Yes, please.” She wasted no time, and soon I was standing on the next platform, wondering how I was going to muster up the strength to get through the last two obstacles.

What is it in each in so many of us that hates asking for help? What makes us believe we have to do it all ourselves, so we often carry burdens we were never intended to carry?

I will admit it- Pride kept me from asking for help right away on the ropes course. After our adventure, my husband told me, “Little boys like nothing better than being brave for their mom.” Well, this mom wanted to be brave for her boys too. And to get through as much of the course as we had time to do.

But you know what? I believe being brave also means knowing our limitations.

It means reaching for someone else’s hand when we’d rather fly solo. It requires linking arms with others and knowing where our strength comes from.

This week, a challenge of women supporting other women circulated Instagram. The challenge was simple. Post a black and white photo of yourself and thank the woman who invited you. Perhaps a little bit about women who inspire you. Then, message other women to join the fun.

I loved this challenge for many reasons, but it also made me think about the things that hold us back. I wondered about the reasons why we often don’t fulfill our God-given callings, and we miss the beautiful opportunities he’s inviting us to into. 

The list is long, but I believe one of the reasons is because we think it’s all up to us. We catch a glimpse of a beautiful vision, and we determine to fulfill it. We chase our dreams with the excitement that comes from beginning something new, but then we get stuck. Is it supposed to be this hard?

We try to pull ourselves back up, but we don’t have the strength.

Last year, I did a short study in Ephesians. Chapter two, verse ten was one I’d heard commentary and sermons on several times, and the speaker usually highlighted one word: masterpiece. Can you hear my inner voice singing, “I am so great. Me me me.”

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Ephesians 2:10 NLT

But this time, I realized a simple, yet crucial element about all of these good things I was made to do. They aren’t a result of my greatness. They aren’t even devised by me. Each and every one was planned by God, and for God.

This doesn’t mean I sit around and do nothing. But it does mean I can breathe and know it isn’t all up to me. I can work from a place of security and rest, knowing if I am obedient, God will take care of it.

Friends, God created each and every one of us to work in partnership with him. But he is the one directing, not us. Letting him do so is a daily act of seeking him, and surrendering whatever is holding us back.

Today I’m surrendering my need to do everything myself. Because I can’t. And we thrive as his church only when we work both with him and with each other.

An Invitation:

If you need further encouragement in pursuing the God-given plans for your life, I encourage you to pick of a copy of my book, Shift: Changing Our Focus to See the Presence of God. Our identity in Christ is one of the topics I cover in detail, and discuss how when we know who we are in him, it shifts our focus.

You can purchase a copy of Shift by clicking the image below.

*Affiliate disclosure

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  1. Christy Mobley says

    July 30, 2020 at 9:48 am

    Yes, Abby, I am one of those people who heard the call and got stuck. Now other things have filled that space. Let’s talk soon my friend. Miss our little gang.
    Love you.

    • Abby McDonald says

      August 5, 2020 at 4:49 pm

      I miss you too, friend. Yes, let’s chat very soon.

  2. Michele says

    July 30, 2020 at 12:32 pm

    Yes, me. What should I do to share the gospel? — are these scenarios and ideas that skip across my brain a product of my imagination, or is it the Holy Spirit? I usually conclude God will make it clear when he wants me to do something. Women inherently want or need to be the one to make everything happy and good, not missing any details that could cause disappointment. It’s difficult to let that inner need go. I know that I must give myself fully to God, otherwise, my faith is not full.

    • Abby McDonald says

      August 5, 2020 at 4:50 pm

      We do put so much pressure on ourselves, don’t we? I’m talking about this more tomorrow as well. Thank you so much for sharing here, Michele.

  3. Rebecca Jones says

    July 30, 2020 at 8:13 pm

    Asking for help is not really as hard as we make it. It is important to be there and offer help at the right time.

    • Abby McDonald says

      August 5, 2020 at 4:51 pm

      Yes, as humans we definitely overcomplicate things. I’m so thankful for the times others have offered help without my even asking.

Trackbacks

  1. God Doesn’t Expect You to Do It Alone | Strength for the Weary says:
    August 21, 2020 at 3:28 pm

    […] the point of last resort. “Being brave means knowing our limitations.” Read “This is Why We Can Ask for Help,” by Proverbs 31 Ministries writer Abby […]

Hi! I'm Abby and I'm so glad you're here. I am a wife and a mom of two very energetic boys and one sweet baby girl. When I'm not chasing them around I love to write about my love for a God who relentlessly pursued me, even during my darkest times. READ MORE...

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Sometimes I read a passage in scripture and the wo Sometimes I read a passage in scripture and the words sound beautiful in my mind, but I have no idea how to apply it them real life. Ever been there? This was the case for many years whenever I heard the verse, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..." (1 John 4:18). I was living with a constant low grade anxiety, and the promise here seemed to allude me.

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GIVEAWAY! Do you feel like you need a faith reset GIVEAWAY!

Do you feel like you need a faith reset? Many of us are walking into 2021 with weary hearts, and need a boost of fresh courage and hope. If this is you, I hope to see your beautiful self at the Breakthrough LIVE event happening on January 23rd, where women from all over the world will gather together online to be equipped and encouraged to thrive in the new year. (find more details via link in bio)

Fun news- We are giving away a free ticket to this event! To enter, do the following:

1)	Comment on this post with why you’d like to attend.

2)	Tag 5 friends.

That's it! We will announce the winner on Friday, January 15th. This giveaway is not affiliated with Instagram. Winner will be contacted via private message.

*Attendees will also receive recordings of all 5 inspirational messages.

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Friends, this group of women pictured here is doing just that. And we’ve been praying for YOU. On January 23rd, we are hosting a live online retreat that is designed to help give you the fresh start you need after a brutal, draining year.

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➡️To sign up and find more details, visit #linkinbio 

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