Abby McDonald

Finding the Hope of Christ in a Messy Life

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God Never Gives Us More Than We Can Handle? Baloney.

October 25, 2018 by Abby McDonald

If you’ve spent any time in Christian circles, you’ve heard the platitude: God never gives you more than you can handle.

Baloney. I’m certain whoever invented this statement didn’t have kids. My drama queen toddler princess is more than I can handle. My tendency to over-analyze every situation is more than I can handle.

But God’s grace. His refusal to leave me in the state I’m in. This is what allows me to rise each time my face hits the ground and I wonder, “What now, God?”

Often, I forget this truth and need an in-your-face reminder. This happened a few weeks ago, when I was preparing for a writer’s conference. It was my first time flying solo in three years.

There are few things that give me more anxiety than traveling alone.

The commute in bumper to bumper traffic, the million things to remember and my tendency to predict endless worst-case-scenarios all combine to make me a tinge crazy. Or annoying. Or both.

So when my husband asked me a question that prevented a complete disaster the night before my flight, instead of praising, I panicked.

“Are you flying out of Dulles or Reagan?” he asked.

Good question. I’d scheduled my flight months before and had it in my head that I was flying out of Dulles. Since we live over two hours from a major airport, I’d even booked a hotel near Dulles. I had my whole morning planned out to make it as stress-free as possible.

I would take the free hotel shuttle. Check.

I would leave my car at the hotel parking. Check.

I would arrive at the airport two hours early instead of at the last possible minute. Double check.

Now, I was checking my itinerary and realized- my flight was out of Reagan. Before I go any further, let me say I did thank God for my husband’s question and the fact we made this discovery before I arrived at the wrong airport.

But then, frustration over my mistake turned to more anxiety. More predicting other things that could go wrong.

I barely slept the night before my flight, convinced my alarm would fail.

The commute would take too long, and I’d miss my plane.

When I got to the airport, my flight was delayed not once, but three times. As I sat there worrying once again about the unknown, God graced me with an unexpected gift. A break from all the chaos in my overactive mind.

She sat down right next to me in the terminal, eating Five Guys. At first, I was annoyed. God help me, but I interact with people at airports as little as possible. Then she started talking and I thought of my grandmother, who passed several years ago.

She was a grandma and was traveling alone too, all the way from Germany. Her courage to do something she admitted was difficult moved me. We showed each other pictures of our families laughed at the endless plane maintenance announcements that normally freak me out.

Our conversation gave me space to breathe. A break from the what ifs and the anxious thoughts. And I realized: God was with me, and I could do this, flight delays, interruptions and all.

But here’s the key- I had to slow the speed of my mind enough to see his grace. To see his provision. And when this elderly woman sat down, he allowed me to see what I was missing.

Sometimes faith requires us to change our “What if” mentality to “If God” solidarity.

If God is with me, I am never alone.

If God in Control, I don’t have to try to control the unknown.

If God calls me to do something, he won’t leave me out to dry.

God never gives you more than you can handle? Sorry, friend, but it’s a lie. Nowhere in scripture does he say this.

But he does say,

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

Each day we wake up is filled with plenty we can mess up, over think, over do and run from in fear. But when our mess meets God’s perfect love and we allow him in, anything is possible.

Even travel to a new city, completely alone, to a conference where you don’t know a soul.

This is not because we’re in control, friends. It’s because we allow God to be. And I thank him each day he takes this girl a little further out of her comfort zone.

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Filed Under: anxiety, freedom in christ, grace Tagged With: faith, fear, freedom

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  1. Kahealani says

    October 25, 2018 at 10:29 am

    Mahalo for your insight. Praise God for this… If God calls me to something, He will not leave me out to dry. After God called me out of my 30 year career in education I am now trusting Him for what comes next. I am at that point of what now…
    I just need to continue to wait for the next set of instructions and believe that He will not leave me out to do nothing.

    • Abby McDonald says

      October 25, 2018 at 3:57 pm

      Trusting Him to show you those next steps, Kahealani. Thank you for sharing. Prayer for you today.

  2. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser says

    October 25, 2018 at 11:46 am

    Yeah, I kind of left my comfort zone last night. I have pancreatic cancer and non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and at about 0300 the level of pain intensified beyond anything I had experienced, and beyond anything I could handle. (There’s no insurance, and therefore no pain meds, let alone the possibility of a trip to the ER.)

    I thought to wake my wife (she sleeps in the bedroom, I sleep in the kennel – we have a sanctuary for unwanted and abused dogs). Not much she could do, and she had to go to work in the morning, so I let her sleep.

    So it was just me and the monsters, there in the dark. As the dawn came up, they grew more visible, and in their clarity was something even more terrible. I’m in deep trouble.

    In this typhoon of blood, though, there’s a certain rightness, a certain sense of order, and there is meaning. Not because it’s teaching me something about myself, or making me a better person (good luck with that!). No; it’s that I’ve chosen to write about this journey in my blog, to help caregivers and patients, and it seems I’ve reached a lot of them.

    Strange that the end of one’s life might be the purpose of one’s life, but yeah, whatever. It’s cool.

    If I may, here’s a prayer written by Andre Zirnheld, that says it all way better than I ever could:

    I’m asking You God, to give me what You have left.
    Give me those things which others never ask of You.
    I don’t ask You for rest, or tranquility.
    Not that of the spirit, the body, or the mind.
    I don’t ask You for wealth, or success, or even health.
    All those things are asked of You so much Lord,
    that you can’t have any left to give.
    Give me instead Lord what You have left.
    Give me what others don’t want.
    I want uncertainty and doubt.
    I want torment and battle.
    And I ask that You give them to me now and forever Lord,
    so I can be sure to always have them,
    because I won’t always have the strength to ask again.
    But give me also the courage, the energy,
    and the spirit to face them.
    I ask You these things Lord,
    because I can’t ask them of myself.

    • Abby McDonald says

      October 25, 2018 at 4:00 pm

      Andrew, I’ve heard others also say too that they saw things the most clearly when they were at the end of their lives. Thank you for sharing so candidly. Praying He shows Himself to you now more than ever.

      • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser says

        October 25, 2018 at 5:48 pm

        Abby, He does. I’m riding on His shoulders, and happier than I have ever been in my life.

        I’m blessed beyond measure, and to quote Lou Gehrig…”I’m the luckiest man alive.”

  3. Arlene says

    October 25, 2018 at 12:22 pm

    I needed to read this. I have been dealing with one of the worst years of my life, and being too much “in my head”, is a problem. I call it being stuck in the hamster wheel of my mind. My friend, who is very analytical, calls it “the squirrel juggling knives in her mind.” I have to remember that God takes my hand and walks me through, one day at a time, one moment at a time.

    • Abby McDonald says

      October 25, 2018 at 4:02 pm

      Arlene, I can definitely relate to an overactive mind. Thank you for being here today. I’m so sorry to hear about the struggles you’re going through but praying now He will give you strength as you said, one moment at a time.

  4. Pamela says

    October 25, 2018 at 3:00 pm

    Dear Abby, I wrote to you a while ago about my daughter who was murdered in June 2015. The trial started in May 2016 and has been postponed more times than I can remember and the latest until Jan 21, 2018. I’ve asked God to bring this to an end but the prosecution and court keeps putting it off and we cant get closure. I’ve been involved in a study of Job at church and have received much clarity about our circumstances. Some days I just hand everything over to God but other days I feel I should be ‘doing something’ to speed things up for the sake of our family. Are these postponements God saying “no, wait or let go” ? Thank you for your interesting and relevant messages.
    God bless you and your family🙏
    Kind regards
    Pam

    • Abby McDonald says

      October 26, 2018 at 8:23 pm

      Pamela, thank you for reaching out and I will definitely continuing praying for you and your family. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. When I read your comment, I thought of Romans 12:19, where it says “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” I know it may not give you much solace here on earth and I do hope your daughter’s murderer is brought to justice, but you can know for sure that the Lord will enact justice, whether in this life or the next. God bless you.

      • Pam says

        October 28, 2018 at 6:01 pm

        Thank you Abby, bless you Pam

  5. Lisa Appelo says

    October 25, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    This! Change our “what if” to “if God.” God’s grace is always sufficient — whicih I’ve come to see as not “just enough” but always enough! Thank you, Abby.

    • Abby McDonald says

      October 26, 2018 at 8:23 pm

      Yes! Always enough. Thank you for always being such an encouragement, Lisa.

  6. Obede Edom says

    October 26, 2018 at 1:57 pm

    Hello, thank you for finding your site, I love biblical knowledge and I think it’s amazing to see its content.

    • Abby McDonald says

      October 26, 2018 at 8:24 pm

      Thanks so much for visiting, Obede!

  7. Kristi Woods says

    October 26, 2018 at 2:08 pm

    His grace is sufficient. I’m really proud of you, Abby, of the way you stepped out of your comfort zone, clung to God, and are challenging us to do the same. And gurlllll….thank God Chris addressed airport logistics beforehand. Whew!

  8. Sabra Penley says

    October 28, 2018 at 8:29 am

    I love this so much, Abby. Not “What if…” but “If God…” It completely changes everything!

  9. Betsy de Cruz says

    October 29, 2018 at 7:56 pm

    Brilliant: change “what if” to “if God.” And I appreciate your candor here because God definitely seems to give me more than I can handle on a routine basis!

    You story made my heart rate go up. Because it sounds like just the kind of thing that has happened to us many a time traveling.

  10. Jennifer says

    November 5, 2018 at 9:50 am

    Happy Monday –

    I have been out of the country (on vacation) and am home now…catching up on missed posts, etc. This was wonderful and I just had to let you know 1) how much I enjoy your posts! and 2) that I live outside of DC in Virginia. I have shown up at Dulles when I was supposed to be at Reagan. Not once – but twice!!:( The last time was this past June when I was headed to Thailand with a group I had never met before. Great first impression!?! My husband now asks me the same question. Multiple times!

    • Abby McDonald says

      November 15, 2018 at 3:24 pm

      Jennifer, when I read this comment I was not in a place where I could respond, but it made me smile and I wanted to say thank you for your encouragement. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who confuses airports! 😉

Hi! I'm Abby and I'm so glad you're here. I am a wife and a mom of two very energetic boys and one sweet baby girl. When I'm not chasing them around I love to write about my love for a God who relentlessly pursued me, even during my darkest times. READ MORE...

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