“I went to the conference thinking there was a big pie and I had to get a piece.”
I was struck by the author’s brutal honesty. I waited in anticipation for her to continue.
“But God just makes a bigger pie.”
Her conclusion startled me. I realized that I had the same misconception about an invisible pie. When did I start making God’s work only about me?
I felt convicted and relieved at the same time. How liberating to know God wasn’t limited by my perception.
What freedom there is knowing I serve One who isn’t counting book contracts and numbers, but has a plan higher than I can comprehend. Instead of thinking about myself, I wanted his plans to be carried out in all their fullness.
When we embrace God’s plans instead of our own, He is able to use us in ways we never dreamed possible.
I realized in the previous months, my dream had become more about me than the body of Christ. And when my dreams are only about me and my needs, envy consumes me.
I compare what others have to what I am lacking. My insecurities run high, and I doubt my ability to fulfill what God has for me.
I forget that it’s through my weakness that He makes me strong. I forget his power working in me is what will take me to new places. I become an insecure girl with nothing to give, and am unable to see people the way he does.
Just one succinct statement about God making a bigger pie made me see my limited vision. Instead of focusing only on myself, I thought about what it truly means to love.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NIV
How often have I read this chapter and simply skimmed over the words, because I knew them so well? How often do I claim to love Jesus, but harbor envy and grudges in my heart? But the person who merely reads the words can’t claim to love God.
I don’t want to be a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal chasing after some invisible pie in the sky. I want to be a woman who reflects Christ.
Instead of being one person in a crowd of hundreds trying to fulfill my own dream, I want to be part of a mosaic of people, working together to do more than we could ever do on our own.
So today, instead of comparing myself to you, I join hands with you. I put my own selfish ambition aside because we are far better together than apart.
God’s kingdom is too important for me to focus only on my work.
His vision is far more reaching.
His purpose is far more glorious.