Abby McDonald

Finding the Hope of Christ in a Messy Life

  • Home
  • About
  • Book
  • Speaking
  • Coaching & Resources
  • Blog
  • Contact

Am I Striving or Abiding?

May 5, 2015 by Abby McDonald

striving-or-abiding

I’m doing it again.

The habit has become so rehearsed, so familiar, I rarely recognize it. I fall into it like a dance step.

I’m striving.

Sometimes I’m not even sure what I’m striving toward. I trick myself into thinking it’s Christ but is it really? Does a relationship with God mean constantly feeling insecure, like I’m always missing the mark?

I don’t believe it does. As a matter of fact, I know deep down in my gut this isn’t what following Jesus means.

But the problem is I usually don’t even realize when the abiding ends and the striving begins. It’s as though there should be some line in the sand where I can see if I’ve wandered over into the land of constantly feeling less than, not measuring up, and losing the gold star.

I once heard someone say the most beautiful attribute of God is also the most difficult for us to understand.

He was talking about his grace.

We humans tend to put limits on this divine characteristic, but our infinite God has an endless supply of it. In a world where we scream for what’s fair, grace doesn’t always make sense.

One moment I think I have a handle on it, and the next I know I’m grasping.

And therein lies the problem. We won’t ever fully grasp grace. It is beyond us.

Once again, I fall into the old, familiar habit of striving.

So today, I’m going to draw a line in the sand. I’m going to create some boundaries so all of us strivers know when to get off this endless, exhausting treadmill and come back to the saving grace of abiding.

In all my years of striving, here are a few things God has taught me along the way.

When I’m striving, I act out of insecurity. When I’m abiding, I’m secure in God’s approval and acceptance.

I know it’s by his grace I am saved through faith, and there is nothing I can do to earn what he already did for me on the cross. (Ephesians 2:8) Strivers believe nothing they can do is ever enough. But Jesus looks at us through the perfect lens of his Son, Jesus, and says, “You are enough. You are made righteous because of his blood.”

When I’m striving, I’m constantly worrying about my self-image. Abiders seek to glorify God, and know it sometimes costs the approval of others.

Strivers long to be accepted and loved by everyone. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with this desire, a person abiding in Christ knows she cannot please everyone. Her ultimate desire is to bring glory to God. Often in our pursuit of God’s will, there will be people who do not understand or are even opposed to our actions. In such situations we have two choices: either run from God in fear and doubt or move forward in faith.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:6 NIV

When I’m striving, I feel as though I have to earn God’s love. When I’m abiding I know there is nothing I can do to make God love me any more or less.

I act out of a desire to share his love. There is an overflow and I cannot help but pour it into the lives of others. When we grasp even an inkling of how much God loves us, it changes us. We discover what true freedom really means.

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” 1 John 4:16 NIV

Today, do you feel burnt out and empty, as though nothing you do is ever enough? Do you long for rest and peace?

If so, this may be a sign that you’re a striver, like me. Will you take my hand, close your eyes and just soak in his presence for a moment?

It’s time to stop striving for God’s approval and start abiding in his grace.

 

*Photo credit (text and enhancement added)

*Linking up with these communities: #IntentionalTuesday

Share if you care!

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Print

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: abiding in christ, faith, spiritual growth

Let’s Stay Connected

Subscribe to receive my latest posts via email.
And as a thank you, I’ll send you a free PDF download of
"The Daughter’s Manifesto."

Privacy Policy

Comments

  1. betsydecruz says

    May 5, 2015 at 6:50 am

    Oh Abby, you’ve hit the nail on the head! Just at breakfast we were talking about how grace just goes contrary to human logic. We can’t understand it and hardly believe it. I like what you say in point #2: I’m striving when I’m thinking about my own image: what others think. Abiders just want to glorify God. They’re not worried about what they look like. Thanks for this encouragement to leave off striving in favor of abiding!

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 11:52 am

      So true, Betsy. It does go contrary to logic. I’m so thankful we serve a God who is “outside the box” and loves us even though we don’t deserve it. Thanks for your words, friend.

  2. Andrea says

    May 5, 2015 at 7:01 am

    Reblogged this on Inspirational and Encouraging Blogs.

  3. Betty Cooper says

    May 5, 2015 at 7:27 am

    Thank you Abbey more than words can say.

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 11:53 am

      Thank you so much for reading and for your encouragement, Betty. 🙂

  4. Betty Cooper says

    May 5, 2015 at 7:28 am

    Sorry I misspelled your name.

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 11:53 am

      That’s ok! 😉

  5. Rachel says

    May 5, 2015 at 9:09 am

    Ok this —> “Strivers long to be accepted and loved by everyone. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with this desire, a person abiding in Christ knows she cannot please everyone. Her ultimate desire is to bring glory to God.”

    This is something God has been working with me on too! I didn’t ever think I was a people pleaser but God has been showing me this is a struggle of mine and I need to please Him above anyone else. Thank you for this post <3

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 11:54 am

      I used to not think I was either, Rachel, but then God showed me how much I was worrying about other’s opinions. Thanks so much for visiting today, Rachel. Blessings to you!

  6. Ceil says

    May 5, 2015 at 9:17 am

    Hi Abby! I truly self-identified with your post today. I think I’m a ‘striver’ too. I notice myself getting tense and worried a lot, and that just means I don’t have enough faith that God will carry me. I like the idea of abiding…I think that’s where God really wants me!
    #RaRa Linkup,
    Ceil

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 11:54 am

      I am so glad to hear you identified, Ceil. It is always my prayer to encourage others and point them to Jesus. Thank you for visiting today.

  7. Leigh Ellen says

    May 5, 2015 at 9:39 am

    Abby,
    I am so blessed by your words. Thank you for spending time with our Lord and receiving these much needed truths on behalf of us – your readers! What a blessing you are to me!

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 11:55 am

      Leigh, that is so wonderful to hear. Thank you for making me smile today. 🙂

  8. TGAWrites says

    May 5, 2015 at 10:20 am

    -> “When I’m striving, I’m constantly worrying about my self-image. Abiders seek to glorify God, and know it sometimes costs the approval of others” powerful words today! Thanks for sharing and encouraging me to abide instead of strive.

    W/Love,
    Tayrina from TGAWrites

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 11:56 am

      Thank you for visiting today, Tayrina! This is something God has been laying on my heart, and from reading others posts on FB, etc., I knew I was not the only one who needed to see there really is a difference. Blessings to you, friend.

  9. Ellen Chauvin (@eechauvin) says

    May 5, 2015 at 11:00 am

    Abby, I loved this. Matter of fact, I will need to return here and re-read it several times! Wonderful insights!

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 2:57 pm

      Ellen, as one of my other friends said, I am a member of Strivers Anonymous so I will need this lesson again too I’m sure. 😉 Let us strivers unite!

  10. Anita Ojeda says

    May 5, 2015 at 11:19 am

    Thank you for laying it out for us, Abby! It’s so easy to drift over the line from abiding to striving. When I’m feeling weary, it’s usually because I’m not abiding.

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 2:58 pm

      Yes, it is so easy to cross that line, Anita. I’m so thankful that God gives wisdom to anyone who comes before him and asks. What a gracious God we serve!

  11. samcitty says

    May 5, 2015 at 11:55 am

    I’m currently reading a book by Christine Hoover called From Good to Grace, and it addresses this very issue. When I’m striving, it’s as if I’m pulling away from God. We try to save ourselves when we are striving but the fact is that we need to recognize the grace of God all the more. Blessed to be visiting from #RaRaLinkup.

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      That sounds like an awesome book! I will certainly make a note of it. I love reading. 🙂 Thanks so much for visiting today.

  12. Karen Brown says

    May 5, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    Abby- This is wonderful. Thank you for so beautifully and graciously drawing a line in the sand for strivers like you and me. A relationship with Christ should not feel like we are always missing the mark. Thank you for reminding me of that and for calling me in to the joy that is set before me in the gospel. Grace is outrageous and inconceivable, but it’s ours. I’ll take hold of it, and your hand, and pursue it by abiding instead of striving. Beautiful piece!

    • Abby says

      May 5, 2015 at 3:00 pm

      Amen, Karen. Grace is outrageous. What’s So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey is one of the best books on this topic that I’ve ever read and it truly changed me. Thanks so much for visiting today, friend. Let us stivers unite! 😉

  13. Stacey Thureen says

    May 5, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    So good. Such wonderful truth! Thank you. Stopping by from #RaRaLinkup

    • Abby says

      May 8, 2015 at 8:42 pm

      Thanks so much for stopping by, Stacey! Love this community. 🙂

  14. bevduncan103 says

    May 5, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    Abby,
    As a charter member of strives anonymous, it’s been a life long journey to get to a place of more abiding (abide is my favorite word by the way) And less striving. Abiding says…it’s been done. Striving says I still have to do it. Great and thought provoking post!
    Love you,
    Bev

    • Abby says

      May 8, 2015 at 8:43 pm

      Strives Anonymous. I love that! And I am definitely a member too…but working to not be. Thanks so much, Bev. You made me smile with that one.

  15. amykdalke says

    May 5, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    Abby- Your post was confirmation that I’ve indeed been hearing God correctly…to BE STILL, to cease the striving, and to rest on grace. Sigh. That’s so dang hard!

    • Abby says

      May 8, 2015 at 8:43 pm

      Amen, Amy. It is hard. I am working on it, with God’s grace.

  16. Faith To Shine says

    May 5, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    Abby, I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear this. Not just for the encouragement of your words- but to know that I am no alone in this struggle to leave the striving behind and simply bask in His grace-full love. I will hold onto this piece for a while, savoring it as a reminder to abide, not strive.

    • Abby says

      May 8, 2015 at 8:44 pm

      Oh no, Brandi. You are definitely not alone and I will walk alongside of you as we find this fine line and stand on the side of grace! (hugs)

  17. Dolly@Soulstops says

    May 5, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    Abby,
    Such grace and truth in your words…I’m learning I need God’s grace to abide in His grace 🙂 and He gives it when I ask for it…Thanks for a great post 🙂

    • Abby says

      May 8, 2015 at 8:45 pm

      Dolly, this is so true and profound at the same time: that we need his grace to abide in his grace. Thank you for sharing and that’s something which will stick with me for a long time.

  18. Kelly Balarie says

    May 6, 2015 at 6:45 am

    Abby, this is a fantastic post! I love your words and you speak with power. Thank you for defining this fine line that I know I can be so prone to cross over. You bless me with your words today. Cheering you on from the #RaRalinkup! Go Abby; your writing is God inspired!

    • Abby says

      May 8, 2015 at 8:46 pm

      Kelly, you are such an encouragement to me and I thank God for bringing us together, friend. Much love and hugs coming your way.

  19. Tiffany Parry says

    May 6, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    Love this, Abby. I love when God brings us to that place of enough is enough and urges us to be done with that “thing” that is making us work, that is pursuing our affection and stealing our worship. And then He gives us the power and strength to lay it down. Makes me think of Phil 2:13 “God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” Here is to laying down and letting go!

    • Abby says

      May 8, 2015 at 8:46 pm

      This is so true, Tiffany. It does steal our worship. I always love hearing your thoughts and thank God we crossed paths in the writing world. Much love to you, friend.

  20. Kamea Hope says

    May 6, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    I have been learning this lesson lately as well. I wrote about this recently in my post, ‘Surrender to the Wave’. How true that God is a loving Father with an infinite supply of grace – it is beyond our comprehension. We do not need to gain His approval, we need only to abide in Him. Thank you for the reminder.
    Blessings,
    Kamea

    • Abby says

      May 8, 2015 at 8:48 pm

      Kamea, thanks so much for sharing and it seems as though this is an issue God is laying on many hearts. Here’s to abiding in his grace!

  21. Rachel Quigley says

    May 6, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    What a good word, Abby! Yes, I find myself again and again going after what is unattainable and instead find myself in need of His grace. And that is where we are to live… in His grace. Not our own striving but in Him working through us! Thank you for this reminder and yes, I am taking a break to breathe Him in! Thank you!

    • Abby says

      May 8, 2015 at 8:49 pm

      It is such a fine line and easy to wander into that path of striving. That’s why I found it so helpful to make these distinctions. Thanks so much for your continual encouragement, friend. You bless me!

  22. sarahgirl3 says

    May 9, 2015 at 5:29 pm

    I fight striving too. These are thoughts I need to breathe in daily Abby!

  23. MaryHill says

    February 16, 2016 at 11:13 am

    So many truths in this post. I want to grasp how much He loves me. It is hard sometimes when life struggles mire you down. God is good though because He can place messages in your way just when you need it. Thank you.

    • Abby says

      February 17, 2016 at 10:05 am

      I am so encouraged to hear this, Mary. God is good! And I will make sure to check out your linkup. Thank you!

  24. MaryHill says

    February 16, 2016 at 11:16 am

    PS, I hope you will link up with us this week at Literacy Musing Mondays. Devotional and inspirational posts are always welcome. 🙂 http://maryanderingcreatively.com/book-lovers-commenting-contest/

  25. Ellen Chauvin (@eechauvin) says

    February 16, 2016 at 11:43 am

    Oh, Abby, I am always blessed by your posts! Yes, I am a recovering striver, who relapses more times than I care to admit. Just the thought of giving up the striving and abiding in Him, makes the knots in my shoulders loosen up a bit! Thank you!

    • Abby says

      February 17, 2016 at 10:05 am

      Yes, let’s loosen those knots! 😉 Thanks for visiting, friend. Always blessed to hear from you.

  26. Joy Williams says

    February 16, 2016 at 4:25 pm

    Wow Abby! The striving vs. abiding debate continues in my head. You did a great job of settling the issue in this post. I’m thankful for your honesty and your wise words. Blessings to you!

    • Abby says

      February 17, 2016 at 10:06 am

      Thank you for your encouragement, Joy! I really needed to draw that line for myself so I could see when I start drifting over. Have a great Wednesday!

  27. holyvacationqueen says

    February 16, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    Gosh!! This is GREAT Abby..so important to know that thin line that exists between striving and abiding! I need to paste this on my mirror!!: When I’m striving, I act out of insecurity. When I’m abiding, I’m secure in God’s approval and acceptance. Excellent blog today..
    visiting from #IntentionalTuesday today! So happy to visit again!

    • Abby says

      February 17, 2016 at 10:07 am

      Thanks so much for visiting! Always blessed to hear from you.

  28. Horace@pleasingtothePotter.com says

    February 16, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    Well said Abby! I tend to stray over to the “striving” side of things. I think it is impossible to understand God’s grace because it is so contrary to the human condition. I am trusting God in everything and learning to stop striving and abide in Him. I know when we do abide we are much more effective in accomplishing His will for our lives. Thanks for sharing such a thought provoking and much needed post. I will be sharing this today. Have a wonderful week and blessings to you and yours!

    • Abby says

      February 17, 2016 at 10:08 am

      So true, Horace. It is impossible to understand. And yet, that’s what makes God so amazing. Thankful we don’t have to understand and can simply be loved. Thanks for your words of encouragement here!

Hi! I'm Abby and I'm so glad you're here. I am a wife and a mom of two very energetic boys and one sweet baby girl. When I'm not chasing them around I love to write about my love for a God who relentlessly pursued me, even during my darkest times. READ MORE...

Let’s Stay Connected

Subscribe to receive my latest posts via email. And as a thank you, I’ll send
you a free PDF download of "The Daughter’s Manifesto."

Privacy Policy

Stay Connected

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Popular Posts

How God Responds When His Own Want to Die
3 Perspective Shifts that Changed My Life
3 Things We Can Do for Our Heart When It Feels Broken
4 Truths to Hold Onto When You Think You've Let God Down

You Can Find Me Here

Take the Challenge

Categories

Recent Facebook Posts

Recent Facebook Posts

Recent Pins

Latest Instagram Feed

Mom brain (and brain fog) is real, folks! Always h Mom brain (and brain fog) is real, folks! Always have a journal or app with you to capture those ideas on the go. Then, when you finally get a chance to sit down, you’ll have your idea in front of you.

#writinglife #writingtips #writingcoach #hopewriters
I can’t tell you the number of times someone has I can’t tell you the number of times someone has remarked about my kids’ behavior, my writing, or something else, and I would never have known they noticed me. They said something at just the right time, often on a day I needed a boost of encouragement, and it kept me going. I know you don’t have an audience (except your kids, perhaps) when you’re doing the dishes. You probably don’t have one when you’re putting your kids to bed either. But you know what?
 
Our unseen work will always affect the work we do for an audience.

The heart and the love we pour into those unseen hours? It will carry into the lives we live in front of others. It will cause a ripple effect, spreading over to other areas. We may not even notice it at the time, but it will.

If you’re having trouble believing those unseen hours matter today, will you do me a favor? Come to God and just be honest. I promise he can handle it. He won’t turn away or give you a cold shoulder. He may even show you a little glimpse of what you’ve been missing.

#hopewriters #hisloveenduresforever #encouragingword #seekhimfirst
His goodness will follow you into the unknown, int His goodness will follow you into the unknown, into the dark valleys and shadows. It will never leave. Even when it feels as though the world is closing in on you and you have nothing left to give, his goodness will follow you.

Speak this truth over your life today. Even if you have difficulty believing it today, he will use your proclamation of truth. You will defeat the enemy with arrows from his Word. His attacks against you will not stand.

#hopewriters #psalm23 #hisgoodness #seekhimfirst
Hello on this rainy Friday! Everything in me said Hello on this rainy Friday! Everything in me said to stay home today, but I braved the storm and found unexpected gifts because of it like:

1. Shorter lines
2. Less chaos and traffic in the store (which makes me anxious)
3. No one breathing down my neck in the checkout line. 😂 Sidenote- so not necessary!

What unexpected gift did you recently discover after doing something you didn’t want to do? Nothing is too small.

Happy weekend, friends!

#unexpectedgifts #hopewriters #cultivategratitude
You won’t know if you don’t try. This is what You won’t know if you don’t try.

This is what I keep telling myself lately. Perhaps you need this reminder too. Because if you’re anything like me, you can freeze yourself with contingencies and made-up scenarios before you even start something. 

It’s exhausting. And I’ve wasted too much time doing this. So I’m choosing to take steps toward big goals even when my inner voice tells me, “You have no clue what you’re doing.”

Yesterday, that looked like sending an email.  It seems like such a small thing but it felt good. More than good, actually. It was as though all those made-up scenarios melted away, my shoulders relaxed and God whispered, “I’ve got this.”

Take the step, my friend. No matter what happens, the joy of saying “yes” will far exceed the regret of never trying.

#faithwriter #hopewriters #seekhimfirst #wordsofencouragement
Anyone else? 🙋🏻‍♀️😆 When do I need Anyone else? 🙋🏻‍♀️😆 When do I need to send help for you?

#grammarnerd #writing101 #wordnerd #pleasesendhelp
We weren’t created to walk through this life fig We weren’t created to walk through this life fighting the lies of the enemy with our own power. We were sent a Helper, who equips us with truth, leads our prayers and intercedes for us. (Romans 8:26)

Keeping our feet on solid ground is not a passive undertaking. It is daily battle. But the battle is worth it. And as we stand there on the Word that brings life, the arrows start to fall like dead weights. The elements may thunder, but they can’t overtake us. Because we’ve turned our eyes to the power Who controls them all.

#hispromises #hopewriters #amazinggrace #encouragingword
If you’re anything like me, you may sometimes th If you’re anything like me, you may sometimes think God’s peace is something you have to earn or strive to receive. We live in a world where anxiety is becoming more and more common, and it doesn’t seem like peace is a natural state of being.

But if we look at scripture, Jesus doesn’t describe his peace as a trophy we have to earn. It is a gift He gives us as his children, and His perfect peace is part of who He is.

Sharing more about this @embracing.the.unexpected 

https://www.embracingtheunexpected.com/how-is-god-good-unexpected-circumstances/

#embracingtheunexpected #encouragingwords #hisgrace
No matter how long we’ve been walking with Jesus No matter how long we’ve been walking with Jesus, most of us will hit a season where it feels as though he’s silent. As we see others move forward in their faith and sense his presence in their lives, it can feel lonely.

When we walk through these valleys, we need to remember that Jesus said himself that no one can snatch us out of the Father’s hand. 

Regardless of what you might be feeling right now, you still belong to the One who paid the highest price to call you his own. If you’re having difficulty hearing his voice in your life or wondering why he speaks to others and not to you, here are a few things to keep in mind.

1. Our spiritual life is a series of valleys, mountains, and middle ground in-between. When you witness someone else taking big steps in their spiritual journey or hearing from God consistently, it could be that they are in a different life chapter than you are. Often, a long valley comes just before the breakthrough. It’s never a good idea to compare where we are in our faith to someone else, because each of us is unique.

2. Abiding in Christ is an active, day by day process, not a passive, one and done decision. One of Jesus’ last teachings to the disciples is about abiding in the Vine. Jesus is the Vine, and he tells us in John 15 that apart from him we can do nothing:

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” John 15:4 NIV

3. God is infinite, and speaks to each of us in different ways. God may speak to us through a friend or a song, and speak to someone else through nature. He may bring use a specific scripture to minister to someone else, but nudge our heart through a different passage. The key is to keep coming to God, regardless of how we feel.

Friend, if you are in a dry season right now, tell God what’s on your heart. You will not scare him away with an honest admission of your frustration. As a matter if fact, your honesty may be exactly what’s needed to propel you forward and see breakthrough.

#hopewriters #encouragingwords #seekhimfirst #hisgrace #dailydevotion
Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2022 Abby McDonald | Design by The Design Diva | Development by MRM | Privacy Policy

LET’S STAY CONNECTED

Subscribe to receive my latest posts via email.
As a thank you, I’ll send you a free PDF download of “The Daughter’s Manifesto.”